Elder lunch: Highs and Lows
For some students at Elder, lunch is just another period, for others a chance to refuel your body, mind and spirit. For others, lunch is the most important time of the day. Whether you pack your lunch daily or wait in line at the beginning of every lunch period, you’ve probably found yourself in the lunch line, awaiting a classic cheeseburger, or perhaps a modest Bosco Stick. As someone who is always in search of Fantastic Food, I’ve gathered some information and thrown together groups of the best and the worst items that are served up during X,Y,Z.
The Menu Board outside the lunch line
Starting with the delectable and delicious, these are the items that might run out if you’re not quick enough. These foods don’t stand a chance if you bring them back to a table of hungry friends.
Chicken Patty Sandwich
Simply classic and available daily. Grab a cup of buffalo sauce on the way back to your table and you’re in for a treat. Reminiscent of the McDonald’s McChicken, although perhaps not as iconic, if you find yourself with a measly two dollars, you can still land a phenomenal deal and delectable meal in the chicken sandwich.
Chicken Supreme
Is the circus in town? I don’t really care but it might as well be because the Chicken Supreme is being served up in the café and you can feel it in the air. This is the chicken sandwich, multiplied by ten million, dipped in liquid gold and slathered with happiness. Not too much more to be said about the chicken supreme, but do yourself a favor and snag one of these the next time they’re available.
French Fries
A personal favorite, I’m not afraid to admit that I drop about thirteen bucks a week on these crispy golden sticks of endless desire. I’ll cop two bags a day and think nothing of it, because before I can think about my weekly budget, I’m one bag down and dipping the next handful into the previously mentioned buffalo sauce. Which brings me to my next favorite:
Buffalo Sauce
Is it a food? Maybe. Is it on the lunch menu? No. Is it still the best part of my lunch period? Yes. Talk about applicability. Put it on your sandwich. Put it on your fries. Pour it on the ground. I don’t care. It’s free. I’ve seen everything from watermelon to Oreos dipped into the orange. I won’t judge.
Corn Dogs (Dollar Day Exclusive)
Up there with Christmas and Thanksgiving, Dollar Day at Elder is possibly one of my favorite holidays. My beloved fries are discounted 35 cents and I can grab an endless amount of corn dogs for a buck a piece. You already know I’m dunking these bad boys in the buffalo and going to town. The golden brown corn breading that envelops the unmistakable wiener brings back memories of the state fair, and you can thank Dollar Day for your excursion down Memory Lane.
Elder Cookies
Are you kidding me? You thought I was going to forget about the icky-sticky, warm and chewy, chocolatey, gooey, fresh, warm cookies? How could you? Sixty cents apiece and you had the audacity to think I’d leave them off the list? Not a chance, buzzo. These have been a staple of Elder’s lunch menu since the dawn of Mr. Spencer’s fist hatchet, and they aren’t leaving any time soon. If you haven’t had an Elder cookie, you might as well denounce yourself as a panther, because you’re doing it way wrong.
We love to talk about great aspects of life; however, with every good comes a bad, with every high comes a low. There are a myriad of phenomenal facets served up in the lunch line, but nobody is perfect. No bad vibes to the lunch ladies, because as seen above, they are killing it on most cylinders; nonetheless, here are a few flops from the café.
Wings
Now personally, I adore wings. B-dubs, Wild Mikes, Wing Stop: they all play. Elder tried to hop in the mix of those elite wing spots, and didn’t do too well. We’ll start with the flavors. Buffalo and BBQ… not bad. Pretty safe. Now let’s talk numbers. You receive four wings, which to start, is a bit depressing. Add to that, the price: $4. Now I’m no mathematician, but a buck per wing is not the greatest deal out there. I simply will not drop four dollars in return for four wings. Not today. Not ever.
Tater Tots
My boy Napoleon Dynamite won’t be happy with this one, but the tots simply won’t go. In general, tots aren’t a bad thing, but when fries are available every other day, you can’t blame me for being upset when I see the lack thereof.
Taco Bar
Like any other man, I enjoy some tacos now and then, but I’m unable to call it enjoyment when the taco is two inches long and weighs less than a paper clip. I’ve never purchased an Elder taco, but I’ve seen my friends do so, and their reactions are none too happy. These tacos are no Chipotle merchandise, but then again, you’re not paying the Chipotle price.
In closing, I’d say Elder’s lunch offers a great variety of solid options. Compared to the stereotypical school lunch, there are many people who look forward to and enjoy the food in the cafeteria. Hats off to those who work every day to keep the merchandise flowing. Without them, we wouldn’t have our beloved cookies, fries, and chicken sandwiches that we so desire.
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Bridgetown Skyline Master of Cheese, fan of Hawaiian shirts and drinking water, skilled with a frisbee and a camera alike. Second year on The Quill, 17th...
