The Purple Quill: Second semester power rankings


top 3 from left to right joe reiter, collin scheiner, Chris Vinel

Being a member of The Purple Quill, is one of the more illustrious titles to have here at Elder. Quill writers get to have their cell phone out during seventh period, and basically free reign of the school. However, there are some great members and there are some Tyler Schutte-level members in the Quill yet again this semester. Without further ado, here are the second semester Purple Quill Power Rankings. (the list will run from worst to first, with 18 total spots)

18. Sam Poli: Coming in at number 18, is Sam Poli. This should come as no surprise because as Mr. Gary Rogers exclaimed at Sam a month ago, “What have you turned in, in the past three months, son?!” This quote definitely shows the kind of year Poli has been having. He misses every deadline, and if he turns something in it has a 99% chance of being about baseball. Poli simply did not have IT this year, and willingly admits he may fail Journalism for the year. Stay woke though, he has a video dropping soon (so he says), we will have to wait and see if he actually gets it done though. Definitely the Tyler Schutte of this semester.

What have you turned in, in the past three months, son?!

— Gary Rogers

17. Adam Keller: Sitting in the 17 spot is Adam Keller. This was a tough one. Keller makes great videos (none of which are for the quill), and occasionally helps people with Photoshop for their images. The only real contribution Keller has made to the Quill this year is design the t-shirts. Only reason he is above Poli is because of his current film, Stoner Wars, his Outside of Elder video, and his design for the seniors Panama t-shirts. Currently Keller is working on leaving his permanent mark on Elder by designing the template for the video announcements coming next year.

Adam Keller number 17

16. Sam Kayse: Sam Kayse snags the 16 spot purely because of his outstanding ability to never turn things in. When SK pitches articles, they seem like solid ideas, but he fails to deliver them on time seemingly every cycle. Although unlike Poli he does turn pretty much everything in; they are just always a week or two late.

15. Connor Craig: Start by saying if I had a dollar for every article he wrote about clothing, I would have like ten dollars (we’ve only written about 10). Craig likes to put off a vibe that he drills shoes and dress wear, but honestly his style is rather out dated. The rolled pants are absolutely god awful, the sweater look when its ninety degrees outside is also a bold move, but honestly he probably does it in an effort to cut weight for wrasslin’. His stories about said clothing, are also mediocre. He makes attempt after attempt to roast people, and fails just about every time.

14. Alex Schoenlaub: This is a tough one because Schoenlaub has good stories, but he tends to disappear from the classroom everyday around 2:10-2:15. His classroom attendance is not a huge factor, because he turns stories in when they are due, but for a blue collar guy like me, that makes slip down to the fifteen spot on the list.

13. Cole Klosterman: Another guy who consistently turns in articles. He would be higher in the list, but he does not have the WOW factor that some of the other guys attain. His funniest article was by far his April Fools story about Quatman leaving after just a mere year of teaching. However, one article on that level only earned him a fourteen slot. But I expect some good things out of him next year.

Connor Sullivan number 12

12. Connor Sullivan: Have not had the chance to speak with him, but I read one of his article and it was pretty funny, and Mr. Rogers would not stop talking about him when he signed up to take the class, so that grants him the 12 seed. However, Sullivan is not a true Quill member, he takes it first period for some bizarre reason, and rarely meets deadlines.

11. Mike Wynn: Mike Wynn claims the 11 seed, which is a solid spot. He delivers typically on time, and has been the only member brave enough to try the food from the taco truck at the bottom of Quebec. His articles are solid, and he brings some positive vibes to the room. All in all, solid performance for him this year.

10. Ross Hambleton: A solid effort year round by Ross. He meets deadlines, and makes some enjoyable videos to go along with his dope stories. Cracks the top ten, and brings energy to the Quill room every day.

9. Charlie Mazza: New member to the staff for the second semester, he had a solid impact right off the bat. Brought some diversity with his red hair to the squad, and had some good creative writing. Expecting some great things from the young bull next year.

8. Daniel Mcswigan: Ranks this high strictly because he is a writer for the people. His writing style was called “easy to read” by moderator Gary Rogers, and it is definitely that. His top few articles are: The Semper Fi Marlins article, the circus article, and his video of Frisbee throwing.

7. Connor Lohmiller: Lohmiller settles in at the seven seed. He would also be considered a writer for the people, but it’s hard to tell because all of his articles cause controversy, and get taken down after a few days. Lohmiller isn’t the greatest of all writers but he pushes great content into the quill and brings some fire to the room. Gotta respect it.

6. Cole Carle: Co-editor, goes without saying that he is a leader of the quill. His rundown videos suck, and they need to die. However, he does push great stories out and consistently does a solid job.

5. John Edwin Keehan: Keehan is the opinion editor, who also does a bang up job. He pushes great stories and always spices things up in the room. Stay woke for his new “Guys with VSCO’s” article dropping this print cycle. I heard it’s going to be live.

4. Andrew Schenkel: Co-editor, also brings some fire to the room. He writes great articles, and is always doing extra work and helping do whatever needs to be done to get the papers ready. Great writer will be missed next year.

Chris Vinel number 3

3. Chris Vinel: Definitely the biggest sleeper in the quill. He writes tons of stories for every cycle, and all seem to be better than the one before. Any time we need an extra article he steps up and writes two. He is a real team player and has great content.

2. Collin Scheiner: Scheiner will probably go down as one of the all-time greats of The Purple Quill. He has great stories seemingly every month, and ended a triggered Mercy girls career with a simple essay denouncing all of her “satire.” He makes great videos, and has done a solid job with the Fantastic Food Search season 2 videos. Also, brings some solid humor to room. A step above your average quill writer.

1. Joe Reiter: If you are looking for some great reads, check out Joe Reiter. He writes about great topics, and makes outstanding videos. Stay Woke for his new video on Teacher Cribs: Mr. Gergen edition. It should be up online. Also, he pushes some long but nonetheless intriguing articles every month. Also, makes a solid effort to help some other guys out if they need it. Joe is by far the best in the quill for this entire year, and possibly the greatest of all time. Don’t @ me though.

Number one spot Joe Reiter