Where did they go?

Kids around Elder are missing some very important things in their life.


Every now and then, Mr. Ruffing will get on the announcements and tell students that a lost and found table is set up in the main hallway for anyone missing something. Things get lost all the time but usually, they are found within a period of time.

But the things of which I speak have been lost for a while and there are no signs of them coming back…Ever.
Joey Dowd, senior at Elder, seemed to lose something that is very important in the minds of kids right about the time he was born. His face just seemed to look a little different than everyone else’s and he couldn’t seem to understand why.

One day, while prancing around the halls of Elder, one student noticed his weird-looking face. It seemed that Joseph A. Dowd was missing a chin.

Where is it?
Where is it?

No one knew how that happened, but when people started to hear rumors, they had to get a look for themselves. Everyday, Joey has some kids coming up to him just to remind him that he doesn’t have a chin. Myself, being one of those people, do it everyday. I don’t do it because I don’t like Joey but because he thinks he has one, which we all know isn’t true.

“I get at least 15 kids coming up to me everyday just to rub it my face that I lack a chin”, said Dowd. “It is just a constant reminder to me that I have a chin.”

In American Government, Joey and I looked up the correct term and come to find out, the correct terminology for Joey’s condition is a “weak chin”.

“After finding out that I have more of a weak chin than no chin, I was relieved”, stated Dowd. Donovan Hester, another senior at Elder weighed in on this topic.

I don’t care what the internet says, Dowd has no chin. End of story

— Donovan Hester

Well Donovan, I couldn’t agree more with you.
Another object reported missing belongs to senior Sam Paff. Paff, who is only 17 years old, is already starting to go bald.

Yes you heard that right at the age of 17, Paff is losing his hair.

For some people, rocking the bald look can be pulled off but for Sam, he is in the stage where it is starting to fall off, but he still has some hair.

Sam told me that when he wakes up in the morning, he will find hair that has fallen out on his pillow. “It is kind of demoralizing to a person that at the age of 17, they are going bald”, said Samuel.

I can’t say I know how that feels, but I’m sure the feeling isn’t good. To hide is baldness, Sam usually sticks with wearing a hat on the weekend. Sam told me it is a real confidence booster because no one can see his lack of hair. Unfortunately for Sam, just about everyone knows that he lacks hair.

Does Joey Dowd have a chin?

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Sam told me that he doesn’t have any trouble with the ladies which I find hard to believe.

“With a smile like mine Ryan, the ladies have a hard time resisting me”, stated Sam with a lot of confidence.

I have a hard time believing that statement but I want to make Sam happy so I agreed. Mitchell Westerkamp, a very good friend of Sam’s, wanted to comment on the topic at hand.

“As a friend of Sam’s I will support him and be on his side for anything but damn that kid needs a toupee or something. I’m sick and tired of seeing that kids scalp all the time.”

Well Mitch, that doesn’t sound like you’re supporting him at all but I guess that’s how your friendship works.
If anyone ever see’s Dowd’s chin or some of Sam’s strands of hair, it would be nice if they would give it to them because they could sure as hell use it. Sam is desperate and told me anything would work so please help.

Sam is giving a $20 award for hair and Dowd is willing to give up to $50 to the person that finds his chin so keep your eyes peeled.