There are three essentials to the survival of man: food, water, and oxygen. Now, you obviously know which one we can’t live without the most: food!
Food is universally loved and there is nothing to hate about it! The excitement my body feels is uncanny when it is time for a bowl of Chipotle or a nice, hot, home-cooked meal. Home cooked meals are simple. I walk downstairs to the table and begin to eat. However, getting fast food? I have to drive 15-20 MINUTES to satisfy my desires.
This is because I live in the no-pans land that is known as Cleves, Ohio (see what I did there?).
If you are not familiar with Cleves, there are a couple things you should know. First off, if you move out here and your house is in close proximity to an empty lot or future housing, move out while you still can. Before you know it, you will be woken up at 7am on a Saturday to the sounds of power tools and hammering. Second, WE NEED MORE FOOD!!!
There are a few places in Cleves you may find quite appetizing. There’s your typical Skyline that neighbors Taylor High School down on River Road. Then you have old reliable, otherwise known as Wild Mikes off of Shady Lane. Indeed, these are some promising spots for grub. However, they’re two of the very few places you can enjoy a meal out here.
Chipotle? Fifteen-minute drive. Jersey Mike’s? Thirteen-minute drive. Every other fast-food spot you can think of is in the double digits in terms of the time it takes to get there. I asked a fellow Clevite what he thought, and he completely agreed with me. Hayden Rankin mentioned that “It would be nice for there to be like a Chipotle, Panda Express, or Chick-fil-A down here since all of those places are at least 15 minutes away from my house.”
Another factor that falls into play alongside time is gas. “It really adds up over time,” Hayden remarked. Back and forth trips to Glenway Avenue multiple times a week really puts the tank to work, which is why it would be much more beneficial to have places like these at a closer distance. We would even be able to revisit our freshmen years and walk around instead of driving. A chicken sandwich AND a nostalgia kick? Come on now.
Cleves may also benefit from a few more spots to enjoy a burger and a football game. Wild Mikes and Scoreboard will always take the cake, but the problem is they are often times very crowded. You can still enjoy a hot meal, but you have to wait an hour. Lovely!
“More places to sit down and eat would be nice,” says Ryan “Snacks” Connors. We both concur that there simply aren’t enough places in Cleves to sit down and eat. Not being able to sit down and eat results in carry-out orders, and “they get cold,” Connors remarked. This goes for every restaurant you can think of if you are a resident of Cleves.
For example, I get oil and vinegar on my Jersey Mike’s sub. Within the thirteen minutes it takes to get home my bread has turned soggy, and my mood is crushed. By the time I get home with a plate of orange chicken and rice from Panda Express, the rice is drier than the Sahara. It’s UNFAIR. CLEVITES ARE PEOPLE TOO!
We should be able to commute to a restaurant, pick up our food, and get home to enjoy it while it’s still hot. One of the worst aspects of this is the ice cream. Now, I am a fan of enjoying my milkshake WHILE I am on the way home. However, when I have to pick up ice cream from Graeter’s for my family? My car has to go through time. Otherwise, my friendly greeting turns into, “Here’s your chocolate chip milk mom!” Devastating.
It is evident that Cleves needs a culinary touch-up, and there’s no doubt about that. Whether it’s a restaurant or a sweet treat spot, WE NEED A CHANGE. I have reached my limit and so has my gas tank. I’m sick of cold takeout. I’m sick of the frequent gas stops. I’m sick of ridiculously overpriced DoorDash orders. It’s time to speak with our stomachs, not our hearts.
