The dream team

A look at some of Elder's most prominent sleepers. Literally.

Panthers+can+get+sleepy%2C+but+these+guys+are+the+true+elite.
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The dream team

Panthers can get sleepy, but these guys are the true elite.

Panthers can get sleepy, but these guys are the true elite.

taken from Pinterest

Panthers can get sleepy, but these guys are the true elite.

taken from Pinterest

taken from Pinterest

Panthers can get sleepy, but these guys are the true elite.

Mason Berger '20, Co-Editor in Chief

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Having school early in the morning definitely has its perks, but being early also has its weaknesses. One of these weaknesses being students not getting enough sleep the night before.

We’ve all been there. We’ve all had those days where we struggle mightily to keep our eyes open. It happens to the best of them.

Here at Elder, the sleeping bug seems to hit some students more often than others. For these guys, most every class is a battle between staying awake and their heavy eyelids.

To the guys in this article, I’m not trying to expose you or anything. If anything, I’m recognizing the talent that you have when it comes to coppin’ some z’s.

Without further ado, let me introduce you to some of the best sleepers I’ve witnessed at Elder.

Nicholas Seger
Tanner taking a snooze

Tanner Perdue

The drive from Reading proves to be too much for Tanner to handle. I haven’t had any classes with Tanner until this year, and every time I look at him, he’s fighting a great battle against sleep.

Tanner is pretty much just a body during class. He’s been spotted sleeping in multiple different positions. Whether it’s the simple bow of the head or the recently spotted “act like I’m writing but actually sleeping” pose, Tanner pulls it off.

This has been consistent throughout Tanner’s four years at Elder, apparently. Matthew Luebbe claims he snoozed practically all the time in Mr. Kreimer’s Biology class.

Enjoy this picture of Tanner, courtesy of Nicholas Seger.

Jonathan Paff

If you know anything about Jonathan Paff, you would probably be surprised to see him on this list. His high energy is definitely on display every day at school, but even he cannot escape the power of sleep. Known for his nose to desk sleeping position, Paff can fall asleep at any given point in any given class. Just ask Mr. Eisele. Or Mr. Bell. Or Mr. Mohs. The list goes on and on. I really cannot think of a class where Jonathan hasn’t slept at least once.

Paff did comment on his recent improvement when it comes to sleeping. “I’m impressed with myself this year. I’ve only fallen asleep a few times in math.”

It’s almost like he has to be doing something other than paying attention. Whether it’s the mid-class munchies or nap time, you can count on “Than” doing something to catch your attention.

Bailey Dugan

Bailey Dugan is an acrobat when it comes to sleeping in class. I think you could put this guy in a pretzel and he’ll still find away to catch a snooze. He tends to lean and sway while he’s out, but his athleticism holds true, and somehow stays upright the whole time he is sleeping.

A common victim of Mr. Eisele’s water gun, he would sometimes leave it out in Bailey’s line of vision just as a reminder of what is to come if he falls asleep. This rarely did the trick.

Bailey Dugan can sleep through anything (click to animate)

If I were to give someone the #1 ranking for best sleeper at Elder, it would without a doubt go to Bailey Dugan. He simply cannot be stopped. The best in the game.

If you need proof, above is a video from William Doepker with Bailey’s sleeping ability on full display.

Ethan Boyers

I wouldn’t say that Boyers sleeps as much as the other people on this list, but when he does, everyone knows it. Specifically due to his snoring. And maybe also due to the confused look on his face when he wakes up to a room of giggles.

I sat in front of him in Catholic Morality my junior year, and every once in a while, I would hear some extremely heavy breathing behind me. The sound of Boyers snoring is a comical noise, especially while Mr. Bell talks rah-rah about him during his slumber.

It doesn’t take long for Ethan to be out like a light either. When the lights go out, start the countdown to Boyers’ slumber.

Rumor is that he once drooled, per senior Mike Abel. Abel told me he witnessed it first-hand, seeing the specimen on Boyers’ notebook.

Carter Smith

While I’ve never seen this guy sleep in action, rumor has it that this guy gets hit hard by Mr. Sandman. Apparently full class slumbers are nothing out of the norm for Carter.

In my previous talk with Jonathan Paff, he told me that Carter fell asleep the whole English period, and that it isn’t abnormal to see this out of him. It’s probably pretty easy to hide it behind Carter’s head of hair. Just resting up for some duck walks and blocking during football practice.

Just because these guys catch z’s more often than other guys during class, it doesn’t make them bad students. All of these guys still grind in the classroom and put forth lots of effort, just like every student at Elder.

Look on the bright side. It gives everyone else in class something to smile about, and teachers a chance to get a little creative to wake guys up.

Never change, sleepers. Never change.

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