Leave it in Summer ’16

The summer was great; however, there are some things that need to be done away with.

This past summer was chalk-full of activity and hubbub on all platforms and levels of social interaction.  Certain fads become popular and explode into popularity among the masses.  For this, I think we have Twitter to blame.   I enjoy scrolling through my Twitter feed as much as the next guy, but some of these fads went too far and were way overdone.

Pokémon Go

When I first heard about Pokemon Go, I was working my modest shift at Skyline Chili, when a server came back into my kitchen, and wasted both of our time to “catch a Pidgey” that he said was in the kitchen.  I of course saw no such thing, as Pidgey is neither real, nor capable of finding its way into Skyline.

I brushed this interaction off and thought nothing more of it, until the next day when I saw about five tweets about various Pokémon and their whereabouts.  Suddenly, everywhere I looked, children and adults alike were walking around with their noses shoved into their phones, searching the city for fictional creatures, trying to capture them with fictional balls.  I was astounded and irate.

A Pikachu waits to be caught by a Pokeball
A Pikachu waits to be caught by a Pokeball

A few of my friends begged me to download the app: surely, I wanted to join the fun and “catch ’em all.”  However, they were all upset when I told them that this was a stupid activity with little to no reward, and that there was no reason for me to join the fun.

Luckily, this phenomenon fizzled out at around the same time that people became too lazy to get out and catch the Pikachu that was sitting next to the man shooting up Heroin behind the dumpster.  And, just as I predicted, by September, talk of Pokemon Go has been reduced to nothing, and we are now able to Leave it in Summer ’16.

Harambe Jokes/Memes/Tweets/References

Somehow, some way, degenerates everywhere still find it necessary to reference the late gorilla, slaughtered by workers at the Cincinnati Zoo.  Had it occurred anywhere else, I probably wouldn’t mind as much, but we are sitting in the eye of the storm, and I can’t take it anymore.

I am continually amazed at the resilience of those who strive to pour salt into Harambe’s bullet hole, by unceasingly throwing his name around at any chance they get.

Possibly the worst picture in the history of pictures. A combination of Pokemon and Harambe. Simply cringeworthy.
Possibly the worst picture in the history of pictures. A combination of Pokemon and Harambe. Simply cringe worthy.

Earlier today in Coach Bengel’s 3rd Bell AP World History class, I looked over the shoulder of an underclassmen tinkering around on Photoshop.  “This ought to be good,” I thought to myself, after all, I am a huge Photoshop guy.

To my dismay, however, the kid was dragging William Henry Elder’s name through the dirt by slapping the dead Gorilla’s picture under the words “Cincinnati Elder, House of Harambe.”  You could imagine my disgust upon seeing this and the questions that popped into my mind.

I wont ask them, for my sake and yours, and I will only extend my one bit of advice to this mysterious underclassman:  If you are reading this article, which I really hope you are, do away with all things Harambe, and Leave it in Summer ’16.


Water bottle flipping

I’m upset that I even have to address this, and that it became popular in the first place, but it did, so I must.  I don’t hate the act of flipping a water bottle onto a table, with the hope that it lands upright, as much as I hate the videos of people doing this on Twitter.

I can make an educated guess and say that I saw about 14,000 of these videos, all compilations of water bottles being flipped onto tables and other surfaces, accompanied by the song “Ultimate” by Denzel Curry.

The cool thing to do was to time it perfectly so that the climax of the video and the successful landing of the bottle occurred at the same time that Curry’s beat dropped and he began to spit his aggressive lyrics.

Combine this with the safer-than-ever caption: “haters will say it’s fake,” and any given Twitter user could guarantee him or herself upwards of 200 likes and retweets.  It was abysmally unoriginal and unfunny and we need to do ourselves a favor and Leave it in Summer ’16.


There are countless other fads and trends that may possibly spiral into overuse if precaution isn’t taken, but these three are possibly the worst and most dangerous.  If you see anyone partaking in these deleterious trends, do all of us  a favor and tell them to Leave it in Summer ’16.