Stuck in a time warp

Is it time for a change?


Mrs. Groh

Groh looking like he traded clothes with his grandpa

In our world today’s world you may see some people ‘stuck in a time-warp’ (held to occur in the progress of time) or someone that still is stuck in the past. Elder High School is home to one young man that is still stuck in the 80’s, people refer to him as “big mike” or “master of whispers”. He goes

photo by Rocco Salamone
Groh dressing like Groh

by the name of Mike Groh and he dresses like an old geezer.

Some may wonder if he dresses like a grandpa for attention, but in reality its just the outfit his mom picked out for him that night. His mom is a genius, the clothing she picks out for her son really fits his personality well. She just wants to keep the tradition going in the family of being stuck in a time warp.

“Big Mike’s” choice of clothing has angered some students at Elder, but most are not surprised its him who dresses as such. One of the best dressed at Elder, Lucas Downey was not afraid of getting his word out, “Groh should be embarrassed by the way he dresses.”

photo by David Dabbelt
The old geezer look in full effect

He went on to say, “Groh makes Flahrety’s tie and dress shirt combination look high fashion.”

Others have become enraged by dressing this way, the up and coming body builder Zach “Diz” Dehner told me, “My grandpa who is in the nursing home dresses better than him.” I do not think it is possible to have such an embarrassing comparison. Once someone compares you to a patient in a nursing home, it is time for a change.

Michael, as of late, has begun to wonder, “How come I do not have a girlfriend?”

He has been blind to what everyone surrounding him sees, a young man that dresses like they could be a grandfather. That thought can be very disturbing to the human mind, but there is a way to overcome this problem – change.

Some people do forget that he is an only child, this may be another reason to why he struggles. He does not have that older sibling role model to base his life, so that is why he only knows what good to wear through parents. But the question we all struggle to answer, why does he really dress this way?

Mike Groh finally decided to tell us, “Well I mean I go for the classy and distinguished look. Also, I am aging quickly because I already have gray hair at the age of eight-teen. Plus, I think ladies dig my look.”

photo by Mike Dirksing
Groh getting put to sleep

Little does Michael know his look frightens some ladies away. His fashion statement may be the reasoning behind why Keller was recently chosen over him. Is it time for a change? Groh thinks not, rather it is just the beginning of a new era.

But there we have it, we have finally reached the answer as to why Groh dresses like an old geezer – it’s not for attention, instead he’s just fitting his rapidly aging body.