Two Elder teachers, Mr. Spencer Kandra and Mr. Justin Quatman, have both had major events occur in their lives during the month of December. This major event being a new addition to their family. On December 5th, Mrs. Quatman had their daughter Clara Eloise Quatman . While on December 25th, Mrs. Kandra gave birth to a son they named William Robert Kandra. This is a big step in these teachers lives, and it will have an everlasting impact.
To learn more about the impact on their lives, I went and interviewed Mr. Quatman and Mr. Kandra while also getting thoughts from a teacher who has been in their place before, Mr. Eric Grimm.
Mr. Quatman stated that the “experience has been great so far. It is a big change in my life, but really fulfilling.” The impact of Clara on his life so far is clear, and the whole experience so far has been very memorable, “a feeling you can’t describe.” Watching Clara grow and progress each day makes each day even better and memorable for him.
Through his experiences so far, he advises that new parents “need a lot of patience and should live in the moment because every experience is different and not always what people describe.” This advice has worked and helped him so far.
Despite all the good things that have come, there have been challenges like sleep. “Sleep has been a big challenge; I’m getting maybe five hours of sleep.” Mr. Quatman said. To counteract these challenges, he has gotten a lot of assistance and advice from his sister in law and brother in law, which has been a big help.
Mr. Quatman’s perspective on life and way he views the world has already changed and lot. Regarding the future, he is looking forward to “just watching her grow, play sports if she wants to, and go to school as well.”
In Mr. Kandra’s case, the birth of his son came on an even bigger day, Christmas. He told me about how they were at the doctor’s office, but the doctor said it wasn’t time yet. After a few hours though, it happened and became time for the birth of their son. Truly, Christmas became even more special for the Kandra family with their son William Robert Kandra being born.
Mr. Kandra’s experience as a father so far has been “different, but it still hasn’t hit me fully like it has with my wife. It has been a blur for sure though.” The most memorable part so far was the birth for him, but he still gets a lot out of “the little things like giving him a bath and changing a diaper. Another experience that was very memorable was William peeing on my wife after taking him out of the bath.”
“Sleep as much as you can sleep,” was Mr. Kandra’s advice to new parents because of how he struggles to get four hours of sleep. Along with sleep, Mr. Kandra stated that communicating with his wife has been more challenging, especially with all the things that he took for granted, but stressed the importance of it and checking in on one another, especially emotionally with things like “how are they?”
While being grateful for all the help he and his wife received, Mr. Kandra stated that “everybody has been helpful, almost too helpful, to a point where it is almost overwhelming.” Despite feeling overwhelmed at times with help from his extended family, he appreciates when he can have that free time to catch up on sleep or play video games, using every second to rest and take a break.
Mr. Kandra’s perspective on life hasn’t changed much, but he knows that he must “guide him (William) to be his best.” He has to “take care of someone else who needs him.” Having that dependency on him means a lot and makes him determined to be the best father he can be. As William grows up, he is looking forward to watching him “get his first transformer, pick a favorite Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, pick his first favorite thing whether his cars, video games, or movies. I want to see how what he can be relates to what he will be.” Mr. Kandra is looking forward to seeing what interests William and what he will turn into. Surprisingly, despite being a football coach, Kandra said “I am more interested in non athletics rather than athletics for him.”
To get more insight for these new fathers, I went and talked to someone who has been in their place before, Mr. Eric Grimm. One would say Mr. Grimm is a veteran now when it comes to working while dealing with and taking care of kids at home. Mr. Grimm commented on the experience saying, “The importance of time management became critical, especially at home where I could easily grade papers before, but now, I use the time before school to get that done.”
“Not a challenge really but seeing my kids become students,” said Grimm when asked about his hardest challenge. Being a teacher and seeing students every day becomes different when there are little ones at home that will reach the point his students are at now. It helps him to relate to students more and see where they come from with his kids at home. He is able to recognize challenges and difficulties his students are having and look at them in a different way.
Mr. Grimm’s routine was forced to change with the addition of kids. He had to “wake up earlier–not Mr. Alig early– to get work done from 4:45 to when his kids wake up.” Having to take care of his kids made him lose the time after school to grade papers like he could before, so he adjusted, waking up earlier to get that work done.
Regarding particularly helpful things, Mr. Grimm stated, “having a supportive spouse is critical along with a support system.” This was very helpful to Mr. Grimm and helped make his responsibilities with his kids easier and less stressful. This along with people coming to help like grandparents, brothers, and sisters was very useful for him.
As a closing remark, Mr. Grimm provided some advice for Mr. Quatman and Mr. Kandra. First, “hope their kids grow up to be beautiful little fools.” Also, “focus on family while maintaining and understanding the value of your job; find the balance between the two.”
I wish both of these teachers the best of luck on their journeys as fathers.
