Faculty fights

Coach+James+ready+to+go%21

Coach James ready to go!

Ever wonder what it would be like if a certain teacher went head-to-head with another? Well, neither has anyone else. But it sounds pretty funny right?

My style is impetuous. My defense is impregnable. I’m just ferocious.”

— Dr. Tucker

The staff of The Purple Quill decided to tackle this scenario. We took the time to really sit and think about what would happen if teachers fought one another. Would the four foot nothing Mr. Suer have a chance against someone like Mr. James? Mr. Suer is a wrestler, but does that skill mean he can win? What kind of skills do certain teachers have that make the creditable in a fight?

Mr. Ruffing about to show off his deadly cross.
Mr. Ruffing about to show off his deadly cross.

These were all the types of questions we faced when presented with this challenge. We matched up 32 teachers in a tournament. Four regions, eight teachers per region. Each teacher was given a seed from one to eight, based on how well we believe they will perform in the tournament. (We are not responsible for any feelings or self-esteems that are lowered based on seeding)

The choices were difficult. It might not seem like it, but Elder has a plethora of teachers. All of them have unique qualities that would make them rather entertaining in a fight.

However, some teachers did not get picked, and we wanted to know how they felt about their exclusion. So, we sat down with the one and only, Dr. Tucker.

Dr. Tucker was not excluded right away, in fact, he was one of the harder decisions to rule out. When asked how he felt about his exclusion, he replied, “Politics! Tournament decisions are riddled with politics and I am but the latest victim! If I were a Cincinnati native I would be in. It is my great honor to be a native of the Bluegrass State and I must suffer exclusions like this as a trade-off. I’ll take that any day.”

We then asked the Doctor if there were any special characteristics he possessed that he thought would aid him if he were in the bracket. His response was golden. “My style is impetuous. My defense is impregnable. I’m just ferocious.”

We could tell that Dr. Tucker was confident in his skills. He even claimed that there was no true winner of the tournament when asked who he thought would win. He said there is only the one who, “would’ve got beaten by Tucker.”

We also wanted to get some insight from the students on this bracket. We ran into Spencer Kandra in the hallways and allowed him some exclusive looks into the bracket before anyone else could see it.

Kandra told us that Reuben was his favorite for the tournament. He said, “Have you seen the guy angry? I mean good lord. I feel like he’s the underdog here.”

We then asked Kandra if there was anyone else he thought would be deadly in this tournament. His response was simply, “Mr. Spencer, and for one reason. The Fist Hatchet.”

All of these teachers have a fighting chance, except for Mr. Rogers, of course. Besides that, it’ll be interesting to see who takes home the trophy. (Note that there is no actual trophy.)

Go ahead and click on the link below to view this bracket. We’ll be updating the bracket weekly after every student gets a chance to take a look, and give a vote.

Click here to see the bracket

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