The Breakfast Club

The funniest teachers at Elder meet every morning in Coach Espelages office to discuss topics of the day and roast any student who dares to enter their inner sanctum.

The funniest teachers at Elder meet every morning in Coach Espelage’s office to discuss topics of the day and roast any student who dares to enter their inner sanctum.

If you’ve ever been in Coach Espelage’s office before school, odds are you’ve seen the legendary gang that resides in there every morning.

Dr. Tucker, Coach Ramsey, Coach James, and Coach Espelage are four of the funniest if not the funniest teachers at Elder High School, to be in their presence before or during a morning coffee is a blessing few have experienced.

Senior Nick Albers, better known as Chang, and I walked in on this crew on the Friday before the St. Ignatius game and needless to say, there was no lack of hot takes.

“Those four men are definitely the funniest four men to walk the halls of Elder, the only people that may give them a run for their money are Mr. Eisele and Mr. Bengel. I was in tears within five minutes of entering that room. I lost it after Mr. Espelege suggested that we call the third quarter drum line, ‘The Tearing of the Skins’ I don’t know where he comes up with this stuff.”

After the suggestion of the tearing of the skins, Dr. Tucker went on to detail the outfits the band members would wear, which included leather cat masks.

Walking in to the athletic director’s office you must have your guard up, nobody is safe. I walked in after just finishing a glazed doughnut, apparently I had some glaze above my lip, thus I was greeted with “Cliffe you got a little something there,” as Espy pointed to my face.

I replied, “My bad, I just ate a doughnut.”

Espy: “Oh, is that what the kids are calling it these days?”

What do you say to that? I’ll say right now that I was perplexed and couldn’t come up with a single word.

Each member of this group brings a special kind of fire to the table, their own personality, something that makes them standout.

Dr. Tucker brings a cool edge to the group, his cunning abilities and smooth vernacular are nothing short of impressive.

Coach James lives in all facets of life, a motivator and provides a positive life source that every group desperately craves.

Coach Ramsey is the quiet guy of the bunch, but when he speaks everyone listens. The tandem of James and Ramsey is loaded with 80’s references that really get the nostalgic vibes flowing.

Coach Espy is the core of this group; nobody stands a chance against this man’s quick witted jabs and debonair style. His confidence and ability to torch students egos is unmatched, truly an exquisite man.

This group of highly sought after faculty members, in my honest opinion, is unmatched when it comes to comedy. Each teacher has a unique personality that makes he or she great in their own way but these four are some of the funniest men I know.

If you ever have a chance to stop in to Espy’s office before homeroom, take that chance with caution because no matter who you are, no matter what you do, you will get torched like a firework on the fourth of July.

“How did it start? I think it’s evolved, if I’m allowed to say that word,” said Espy as I asked how the crew first started.

“Mr. James and that 7:50 were an issue, they used to have legendary battles, so he wasn’t a member until Tucker joined. I guess his presence influenced him to get here on time.

Now we are not a closed door crew, as you well know, we let you know whats on our minds because we’re here to ‘prepare you for life,'” Espelage said.

We solve alot of the world’s problems, we have been called the “Morning Meeting” by a number of people.”

Coach Espelage told me that the original “Morning Meeting” crew consisted of Coach Ramsey, Dave Dabbelt, and of course Mr. Espelage. then Mr. Tucker (yes, he was Mr. at one point in time, believe it or not, he was once our equal). Then the big man, Mr. James started coming in, and thus the crew was in full force.

Dr. Tucker recalled an incident when Espelage still had a homeroom so the MM crew adjourned up to the third floor, a tall task for anyone, to surprise a student in Espy’s homeroom. The student was a huge transformers fan so Tucker wore an Optimus Prime mask to greet him. Feel good vibes all around.