Senioritis strikes Elder

Mike Ridder falls asleep while playing a game in class.

Mike Ridder falls asleep while playing a game in class.

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Elder High School used to be a bright place with determined students that strived for the higher things. It still is, except for those that have been stricken with the worst disease known to man.

Senioritis.

It should come as no surprise that this plague has visited Elder just as it visits all high schools across the world. For some schools and individuals, senioritis can strike as early as freshman year. These are rare, but deadly cases of the disease.

Mike was also seen sleeping with his bear in his favorite spot, the library.

Mike was also seen sleeping with his bear in his favorite spot, the library.

The lucky ones however receive the virus within the second semester of their fourth and final year in high school, as seniors. Hence the term, senioritis.

The second quarter is coming to an end. The drive and commitment we all had at the first few weeks of school has fallen beneath safety levels and it looks like this virus is going to hit harder than it ever has before.

This disease essentially shuts down the determination or will to do any sort of work. It is a mental block that spreads from individual to individual by simply seeing others with it. A student sits in class and is just handed a worksheet by his teacher. He looks to his right to see that his fellow classmate has already stuffed the worksheet in his backpack, and is putting his head down for a much needed nap. Naturally, the other student, does the same.

This is just a primitive example of senioritis. The disease could become far more elaborate and grow into stages that will cause students to miss school for weeks at a time.

The clear cut definition of senioritis is: a supposed affliction of students in their final year of high school or college, characterized by a decline in motivation or performance.

We’re starting to see this more and more among the senior class. We managed to get a hold of a few students are plagued by this disease.

We sat down with senior Ryan Ecton. He informed us that he has been struggling with the disease for several months now and it makes getting work done incredibly hard.

“It’s a very serious and very debilitating disease, it affects me every day of the week,” Ryan told us. We asked him what kind of actions he is forced to take now that he has the disease. He told us he takes as many naps as he possibly can during the school day. Followed by a 2-3 hour nap when he gets home.

As for his school work, “It is especially difficult, and I often don’t get to it until homeroom, the day it’s due.”

Ecton is just like all the others affected by the virus. Adam Carlton, also a senior, was willing to answer a few questions about his struggle too.

“It all started toward the end of junior year,” Adam said. That is a clear example that anyone can get the disease anytime throughout their school career.

Adam told us that his daily activities now include taking three to four short naps during the school day, mostly when class is in session. He claimed, “On the good days, I go home and take a nice long nap. It really energizes me, for about a full sixty seconds.”

He also talked about his work ethic in regards to school. Adam stated, “The homework…that doesn’t really happen at home, more like before school, or before the actual class, if at all.”

We needed a doctor’s opinion on the disease. So we went to the most qualified person to deal with sick kids in the school. No, not the nurse.

We went to Dr. Tucker.

Among the weak, it’s an issue…”

— Dr. Tucker

We asked Dr. Tucker what his thoughts were on the epidemic. He stated, “Among the weak, it’s an issue, but I as a faculty member, I refuse to acknowledge its existence.”

The doctor pointed out that there could be a cure. He told us, “The elimination of senior year. After sophomore year, we could implement a rotation of courses and provide no updates of progress to the students.”

A video with detailed interviews and descriptions about senioritis will be released at a later date, but until then, all we can do is pray.

Will Elder be the first to cure the disease? Probably not. The fact is, it has always been around and it always will be. Maybe one day when we are all gone, some hero will find a cure.

Or they’ll wait to find it in homeroom.

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